i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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