I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
