i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It all started with a game of naked twister.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
