Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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