Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
