all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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