I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Enjoy the penises
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
