I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Will exercising make me less horny?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
