Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
