hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
