holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
