We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My pussy is not your playground.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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