I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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