I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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