We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Randomize
