3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
