I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
