I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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