so explain again why im purple
no
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
