he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
