no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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