You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
50% drunk capacity currently
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize