That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
