Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
