I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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