That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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