She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
false alarm, still single
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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