Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
