Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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