I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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