nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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