I think I died a long time ago.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
