I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
