ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
