you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize