You're so nebulous sometimes
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
