ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
