I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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