yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
