she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
