I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
It's Friday. Sex?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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