I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
