i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
