He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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