Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize