Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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