I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We have started to decorate penises.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
