the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
