Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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