singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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