I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
