He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
