I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
