do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
