Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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