i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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