I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
