Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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