He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
