I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
