So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize