If i come over, it means nothing
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
