Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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