All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I don't deserve a penis
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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