I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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