Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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