This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
