What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
