I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Enjoy the penises
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
